Reflections
by Firetigeress
Summary: My first FoR fic ever written, so it's rather, well, bleagh. ^_^ After the events of the Urabutousatsujin, Kaoru wonders... (Written before I ever read volume 15 of the manga, so Kaoru's past is, needless to say, wrong. >_


Reflections Reflections 

Finally, the Dark Martial Combat was over. After many weeks of fighting and worrying, everything was finished, and Team Hokage had won. Yanagi was safe, and despite the fact that they had collected quite a number of psychic devices, they still had not found one which could break Kagerou's curse of immortality. The search for that device was still on, but for now, the Hokage could relax and celebrate their victory. In fact, they were doing that just now. After inviting many of their new found friends, they decided to throw the party in their hotel rooms, much to the consternation of Tokiya, who had been hoping to spend the night asleep in his warm, cozy bed. The others hadn't really cared what he thought; like it or not, he was one of the Hokage now, there was no doubt about that. 

Kaoru sighed and idly scratched the back of his head with one hand. The party was raging on, and no one seemed to even notice the master of the Kougon Anki. He could have been invisible for all they cared. Sometimes he wondered if he was truly a member of the Hokage. After all, he was originally from the Uruha, was he not? But then… they had congratulated him on his win against Joker, hadn't they? Or were they just happy that they had won a fight? He heaved a great sigh. What he really needed now was someone to talk to, like Saicho, for example. But Saicho hadn't come yet as he had gone to fetch Misora to this party, and that left Kaoru alone and with nobody paying any attention to him at all. 

Far across the room, he could see Fuuko chatting amiably with Gashakura, pointedly ignoring all the lecherous looks Fujimaru was throwing at her. After their battle, she and Gashakura had become quite good friends, and respected each other's fighting abilities. It seemed that even now they were discussing their psychic devices and exchanging fighting tips. In the corner, he could see Recca, Domon and Kondo engaged in another fight, most probably due to another of the stuffed fox's snide remarks. Not far away, Ganko looked on at the fight in dismay; then, throwing up her hands in despair, threw the three brawlers a look that quite plainly said "That's it. I give up" and sat down nearby to watch them. Kagerou was also talking with Kuukai, and judging from their gestures and frequent glances in Recca's direction, they were definitely discussing Recca's good and bad points, as well as laughing at his current antics. A smile involuntarily touched Kaoru's lips, and he wondered what it was like to have a mother gossip about you and look after you. But then his smile was quickly wiped off his face as he frowned. He had had a mother once, but she was gone now. He didn't really talk about it much, but sometimes he missed his parents. He still had fond memories of the times he had spent with them before they had died… but they didn't matter. They were gone now, and nothing he did could bring them back. Remembering those happy times just brought back his pain at not being able to save his parents from death. But what could he have done, anyway? They had died in a car crash, and not even Kurei could have prevented the accident short of obliterating the drunk driver's car. Strapped tightly with a sit belt in the back seat, he was the lone survivor. He could hardly remember anything else that had happened after that, except that he had blacked out and woken up in the hospital, only to have to hear the news that totally crushed his world. His only regret was that hadn't even been able to say goodbye to his parents. 

After Kaoru's injuries had healed and the funeral was over, he had been sent to live with his aunt and uncle, whom he had dearly hated. They didn't exactly abuse him, for fear that the neighbours would report him to the police, but had certainly gone out of their way to make his life a living hell. After a year with them, Kaoru could no longer stand their mistreatment and ran away, taking with him only a few clothes and necessities in a back pack, as well as a Rubiks cube that his father had given him on his 9th birthday. He had learnt how to rearrange it so that their colours matched and practiced every day, until he finally managed to solve it in under a minute. Each day, he would wonder around, offering to do odd jobs for people in exchange for food, and at night he slept on a bench in a nearby park, or when it rained, under a bridge near a secluded road. It was not very often that he went to bed with a full stomach, but he was satisfied with just enough food to eat and his Rubiks cube for "company". When he had some free time, he would sit on the park bench and challenge himself by trying to improve the time he took to solve the puzzle. It was during one of these sessions that he met Kurei. 

Sighing again, Kaoru absently brushed the hair out of his eyes as he thought of Kurei. Kurei had been just like a brother to him, and he had believed Kurei totally when he had said that he would never kill Yanagi. Even though he knew now that Kurei's reasons for torturing Yanagi was not his own, he still could not forget the pain of learning that Kurei had somehow changed from the brotherly figure he had always looked up to and became the cold blooded killer he had seen in the Dark Martial Combat. He hoped that one day, he would be able to talk to Kurei and clear everything between them, but for now, that was impossible. He would just have to be patient. 

_If only Raiha were here. _He thought. _I'm sure he would be able to explain what happened to Kurei. _Raiha had always been the one to look after him and make sure that his missions went well, and was also almost like another brother to him. But the catch was that Raiha wasn't here, and he unfortunately had no one to talk to. It almost seemed like everyone was ignoring him today. Stuffing his hands glumly into his pockets, he strode over the balcony to look at the stars and brood. 

As Kaoru leaned across the railing, he felt a shadow fall across him, and turned around to see who was behind him. It was Ganko, and surprisingly, she wasn't with Kondo.

"Kaoru? Is everything okay? You look upset," she observed.

"Nah, I'm fine. It's just that it seems like no one's paying any attention to me today," he replied. "By the way, where's Kondo?"

"Yanagi's sewing him up again. Domon and Recca beat him up pretty badly," she said. "Anyway, don't change the subject. I know that's not all. You usually don't complain about being pushed into the background."

After a short silence, Kaoru placed his arms on the railing and leaned his chin on them. Staring at the sky, Ganko was startled when he spoke suddenly.

"Ganko, do you sometimes feel like you don't belong with the others? I mean,we did come from Uruha and everything."

After thinking for a while, Ganko slowly answered. "Actually, I do."

He was not expecting that answer. Spinning around to face her, he looked at her with an expression of unconcealed surprise. Seeing his look, Ganko quietly continued. "I used to feel left out, too. Whenever Fuuko did something nice for me, I used to wonder 'Why? Why is she so kind? After all I've done to her, why does she treat me so well?' But I don't anymore. I know now that no matter what I've done in the past, it doesn't matter to them. Even now, Recca doesn't bear any grudge against Kurei for what he's done, because he knows that Kurei was forced to do these things by Mr. Mori. They may sometimes ignore us, but I know that deep down inside they really do care for us. Don't you remember the time when Mokuren had imprisoned you in his tree trunk? Everyone was really worried, even Mikagami, who is usually so cold. If they didn't care for you, they wouldn't even have bothered to save you."

Stunned, Kaoru could only stare at Ganko in amazement. He would never have expected such an answer from her. Slowly, his lips curled up into a smile.

"You know, you're absolutely right. I've never even thought of it that way before," he said. "Thanks, Ganko. That's made me feel a lot better."

"You're welcome," she smiled. "Do you want to go inside now? I think they're going to start the games right know."

Almost on cue, Recca burst in on them and practically yelled"Come on guys! Saicho's finally back and we're going to have a playstation competition! Don't you want to join?" and quickly dragged them to the direction of the TV.

"Ow! Let go! It hurts when you grip my arm so hard!" Ganko complained, trying futilely to remove her arm from Recca's vise-like grip. Flashing a quick grin at Ganko, Kaoru quipped,"He probably wants to injure your arm so that you won't be able to hold the controller properly and beat him."

"WHAT? That's not true! I can beat almost anybody at fighting games!" Recca protested.

"Oh yeah?" Fuuko asked, coming up to join them. "Then how do you explain your losing to Tokiya or even Saicho?"

"Recca is so useless at playing games," Kondo commented.

As Recca lunged forward to pummel the stuffed fox again, much to everyone's amusement and Yanagi and Ganko's concern that they would have to stitch Kondo up again, Kaoru thought: _Kurei, I hope that wherever you are, you're safe and happy. I know I am, because I know that I have some great people as my friends. _

Far away, the stars twinkled gently in the sky as Recca and Kondo's shouts faded into the distance.


End file.
